The unforeseen roadblock

When people get into the business of apartment hunting, some of the more prominent things that they think about are location, schools (if they have kids), rent, acceptable pets and quality of neighbors. However, as more and more apartment complexes are snatched up by corporate entities, one thing keeps popping up that most people sometimes forget to associate with leasing- the credit check. And it’s this thing in particular that is wrecking havoc on our current search.

Following the wonderful recession,, Halbastram & I ended up in Kansas to attend graduate school after relinquishing our condo to the bank (for which we would later be compensated because we were improperly evicted; don’t get too excited though- it was only a few hundred dollars…). During our time in graduate school, we picked up a couple of student credit cards to help keep us fed and housed and for three years we were consistent with payments.

Following more job losses and another housing crisis, we once again found ourselves financially unable to pay certain bills.  And as a result, the credit score we were working hard to build back up suddenly took a HARD tumble.  Sure, it’s our fault for acquiring credit card debt when we were in grad school, but at the time those cards were lifesavers.  And, as I said, we were actually good about payments.

Now that we’re back in a position to pay our debtors and afford a fairly decent apartment, as anyone who’s been denied a car loan or an American Express Black card knows, it takes time to get that credit score to move.  It’s like a numerical ice glacier.  Short of walking into the leasing office with a satchel DMX-style and offering to pay all of the rent for a year, we expect to be turned down for many places.  Ideally, I’d like to rent a house from a private owner, as they are generally easier to work with, but the better houses are a couple hundred more than what we wanted to pay.  But it may be worth it to be spared the embarrassment of being turned down for residency at Generic Vista View Gardens Terrace because Capitol One is angry at us.

Logistics aside, I haven’t yet ruled out the Briefcase Full of Cash scenario...

Sooo...jobs DON'T grow on trees?

As much as people may hate their jobs, I’m quite certain that they hate having to search for new ones even more. There’s nothing as soul-crushing and disheartening as the trudgery that is updating and fine-tuning one’s resume. The last time it was updated was the very last time you promised yourself that that would be the last time you’d ever have to update it. And even though you think you’re being smart by reminding yourself that a responsible person would keep it updated every six months, even if you have no intention of looking for new employment, the minute you get comfortable in your new job, that whole idea is dust in the wind.

Which brings me to where I am today. Despite the fact that Halbastram has REPEATEDLY told me & my lady about the importance of regular resume updates, and despite the repeated reassurances from us that, yes, we heard him, well, sometimes you just forget, you know?

So now here am I, trying to make this mundane thing sound more exciting and that totally big deal seem like it was nothing. It should come as no surprise that it’s really hard to spice up your previous experience when 99% of it is “retail with a stopover at the Post Office.” I’ve never regretted any of my time working retail; in fact, I made a lot of great friends over the years and bought a lot of great things at great discounts. But let’s be honest: they were just jobs to stay out of the poor house. And making the best of an unfortunate situation helps make the job a little easier to bear.

This time around, we’re skipping the retail route. We’re going straight for the Big Kid jobs now: marketing, communications, social media coordinator. You know, things I’m actually trained in. Incidentally, so are thousands upon thousands of other Millennials coming out of college. And they have an advantage over me: entry level. Sometimes, education and experience can work against you in the worst way: you either have too much or not enough. Some days I’m proud of my Master’s degree; other days I just feel that college is one big scamola.

But no matter where I’m hired, whether it’s within my field or someone else’s field (because I stole yo’ job, sucka!), I’ll do the best job possible. I just want to settle and be happy. And when I’m happy, my work shows it.

My name is Tiny Elvis and I approved this ad. #HireMe2015

Chronicles about nothing

At the urging of a good college friend, and some others who I have conveniently forgotten (sorry), I have decided to keep track of the process involved with our move 20 miles to the other side of the Kansas/Missouri state line.  In fact, I may make such a big deal out of this that you'll swear that I'm moving to Kansas City, Jupiter.  It's a real place, you know.  I just can't afford it.  So I have to opt for Kansas City, Missouri for the time being.  Maybe when we're all gazillionaires we can move to Jupiter.  Except you.  You know who you are.  You who don't bring beer or snacks when you are invited to a house party.  You can stay wherever you are.

Anyway, the blog will be threadbare for the first few weeks, as I work out my formatting and marketing and whatever.  With the exception of this particular entry, I will keep this blog fairly clean and professional, as I will use this as an example to provide to future employers as proof of my coding/HTML/writing skills as I start to navigate the murky waters that is "looking for gainful employment."

My ramblings on FB may decrease, as I will try to keep my longer rants confined to my other Blog About Nothing, All This is That.  I will do my best to keep from boring you to tears and I hope to keep you captivated about my great 45 minute migration East.

Happy travels!  Or something.